Synopsis: A rookie cop is asked to guard a haunted(?) prison for the night because the force is too cheap to hire a security guard. She’s then tormented by people with bags and wet pillowcases over their heads and a homeless man whose only purpose in this film is to pee on the floor.
Year released: 2014
Directed by: Anthony DiBlasi
“Dude, why do you have a wet pillowcase on your head?”
“It’s creepy right?”
“Yeah, throw some water and a drawing in fake blood on it and you have a murderous cult on your hands!”
Favorite Death: There are no death scenes in this movie, so, alas, I do not have a favorite.
Funniest Part: Probably the first time you see one of the cult members. They walk around the jail with wet pillowcases on their heads that have been badly fingerpainted with fake blood. They don’t really do anything throughout the movie, they just stand in certain places and make the MC scream. Like, yeah they “look” creepy, but why pillowcases? Why not loose skin that sloughs off from poor prison meals or broken/swollen necks from hanging themselves with sheets?
What they did right: The one thing this movie did well was raise temporary tension. Continually you’re put on the edge of your seat wondering what might happen next. They promptly disappoint you with lackluster jump scares, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
On another note, the actress that played Jessica Loren actually didn’t suck. She took a shitty role and turned it into something awesome and actually believable.
Special Effects and Lighting: The entire film was clearly shot on a cell phone so the lighting was understandably atrocious. Half the time I couldn’t tell if the character I was seeing was the main character or another cult member.
Special effects were pretty bad, probably Bedeviled-grade. At one point, the homeless man supposedly escapes from his holding cell. When Loren goes to cuff him, his head turns totally around and reveals a rubber face that’s clearly been strapped to a pillow-body. They shake it around in an attempt to make it look scary but fail miserably. They use a tasteful amount of fake blood, but they should really work on their blood spatters and finger painting.
I was a bit overwhelmed trying to find a movie this week (I had to reject two decent ones before I decided on this beast). I thought I’d switch things up with some Amazon Prime movies, but it’s clear I named this blog after the right streaming service.
According to Rotten Tomatoes and 82% of people on Google, this movie is great! These people are wrong. So very wrong.
First of all, the main character Jessica Loren is a fine actress. I have nothing bad to say about the job she did in this movie. The writing and direction of this movie is where my issues lie.
I also have a critique about the hair in this movie. The entire time there was this strand of hair hanging from Loren’s head that could have easily fit into her ponytail. I’m not really sure what purpose it served, but it really bothered me.
Let’s start out with the fact that they’ve hired a ROOKIE to watch an entire building by herself. She just started and is now in charge of an entire jail and has to wait for a HAZMAT team to show up. It sounds simple, but we find out the place is haunted by the members of a cult that decided to kill themselves while they were imprisoned there.
Since there isn’t much to the plot aside from that, let’s talk about our villains, shall we?
The inspiration behind the featured cult is clearly the Manson family. In fact, I think they might have even made that reference in the film. Basically one dude with a harem of female followers.
They committed some murders but were mostly captured and imprisoned. While incarcerated they hung themselves with their bedsheets.
Why then, you might ask, are the villains featured as Satanists with demon teeth, pentagrams carved into their faces, and wet pillowcases on their heads?
I don’t know, I was hoping you could tell me.
Aside from the pillowcase cult, there is a homeless man that makes an unnecessary appearance in the film. I literally have no idea what the purpose of his character is, but the first time we meet him, he enters the station without a word and pees on the floor. You, like myself when I watched this, might think this has something to do with anything. It doesn’t. He just walks in, pees on the floor, and is asked to leave.
He then shows up later, having broken into the station(because that’s logical), and is sorting through papers and file cabinets. Loren arrests him and is strangely rough with him. He only slightly resists when she goes for him, but then she shoves him into a wall and ends up tasing him later on.
Throughout the movie, Loren gets phone calls from a strange number claiming to be a girl in trouble. Later on, we find out the girl calling her has been dead for years and it’s revealed that she’s been a trap the whole time.
A trap for what? We don’t ever find out. Spooooooky!
To my understanding, the pillowcase cult is haunting Jessica because she’s the daughter of a cop that died trying to nab the cult during their initial arrest. He later ends up calling her, encouraging her to stay in the haunted police station and be murdered so she can be with him.
She fervently agrees and decides to listen to her dead father. He warns her that someone is on their way and she has to get rid of them, so she draws her gun and heads towards the entrance.
Three cult members enter the station with guns and, you guessed it, pillowcases on their heads.
Jessica then ends up killing these cult members. But to our surprise, she’s then shot by the sheriff (not the deputy). We think, for just a moment, that he’s part of the cult, and then it’s revealed that the three cult members that rushed the station were actually the HAZMAT guys she was waiting for.
But like, why do the HAZMAT guys have guns? I can understand visual and auditory hallucinations, but the fact that they are packing doesn’t make sense to me.
There are a lot of little things that happen in this movie that make no sense on top of the weak plot. So the entire movie is similar to The Offering in the sense that a lot of the jump scares and spooky scenes have nothing to do with what’s happening, they’re just added scary stuff.
Like most horror movies these days, the production people cram so much into the movie it’s hard to cover it all. If you want to watch it yourself, you’ll soon see what I mean.
Overall I didn’t like this movie, but it served a purpose and was (kind of) original.
Last Week’s Review: The Offering
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