The Collection

Synopsis: A young girl is kidnapped by a man that collects people like one might collect bugs. Her father sends someone to rescue her but in the end, rescues herself and the guy that’s high the entire movie.
Year Released: 2012
Director: Marcus Dunstan
Rating: Hell No

Horror Ratings
Movie Pitch:

Dude 1: “So, there’s this guy and he collects people. Bones, bodies, grotesque paintings, and then he kidnaps people and turns them crazy.”

Dude 2: “Wait, but why?”

Dude 1: “That’s not important”

 

mv5bmtg2nzaynza5nv5bml5banbnxkftztcwmzk1mzg1oa-_v1_sy1000_cr006661000_al_Favorite Death: This one guy gets meat-hooked through the face. That’s pretty cool.

Funniest Part: Elena gets captured by The Collector and she’s placed in a trap. When the others come to rescue her, they all get trapped in a cage. The Collector then mocks them from the outside and lights a fuse that leads to some ominous barrels. With their limited time, they must escape from the cage. Now, the lock on the cage is a slide lock, simple, right? Wrong. They attempt to reach it with their hands and with a knife, but they both fail.

broken

So, what is the natural next step? High guy (Arkin) decides to break off the cast on his arm, re-break it, and use the weird 90-degree angle it creates to unlock the slide lock. Once they leave the cage, one of the side characters “resets it” and it’s put in a makeshift sling. Not 5 minutes later, it’s out of the sling and Arkin is beating up The Collector and pushing over shelves.

What they did right: Not much, actually. If I had to search for a redeeming quality, I suppose I could say it was unpredictable. We never learn why The Collector does what he does. We don’t even learn who he is. From the first 5 minutes of the movie, I thought I had the plot nailed down and turned out to be totally wrong.
Special effects and lighting: This movie was dark. So dark, they had to give The Collector a special shine to his eyes so you could tell where they were within his dark mask. The blood was so fake and terrible and all of the deaths were unbelievable.

What I thought the movie was going to be about: Once the accident happened, the father survived and his daughter didn’t. To try and bring her back, he kidnapped girls that looked like her or had similar features. Displaying them so he could constantly be reminded of what he lost.


So there’s a lot to unpack with this movie, and I’ll likely be briefer here than on the podcast, but we’ll see what happens.

The movie starts with a car accident. Elena and her father are in their car and they are hit by an oncoming vehicle. We later see that she’s rescued from the burning car by (who I assume) is Lucello. I guess Lucello is like a man-servant or something because he’s the one sent to recover Elena after she’s been kidnapped.

He ends up being the hero at the end of the movie after we assume he’s killed by a trap. But he dies anyway because that’s how movies work.

Apparently, this movie is a sequel or at least done in the same universe as a previous movie by Dunstan; The Collector. It uses the same cover art and I didn’t know this until I started looking things up on IMDB.

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I decided to watch the trailer for the first movie to see if it would enlighten me a bit.

It seems like the entire movie is just “The Collector” chasing Arkin around his house after he breaks in to steal his stuff. I don’t know if lends anything to this movie, but that doesn’t really matter. Typically with sequels, you get flashbacks to things that happened in other movies. Since some of the writers of this movie were involved with the Saw franchise, I’m super surprised that wasn’t included. That’s like their favorite thing. The only connection I can really see is that Arkin has to deal with The Collector again and finally gets his revenge.

Basically, the entire movie is this group of people trying to find Elena in this hotel used by The Collector to hold his collection. The search party is headed by her father, but he has very little screen time. This leads me to believe he has something to do with The Collector.

I thought the movie was going to go way differently than it did. I thought the father guy would have collected girls that looked like his daughter after she dies in the car crash, but she didn’t die and he isn’t The Collector. As a matter of fact, we never learn who The Collector is at all.

box

The Collector sets up traps similar to Jigsaw. This is not only lazy but not even a big part of the movie and distracts from the plot simply adding a creepy/gory element when there’s a lull.

There’s also a story arch that Elena uses a hearing aid. I’m really starting to hate this trope about horror movies. Using disabilities to add a creep factor is fine in my book, but make it PART OF THE MOVIE. A great example of using a disability as creep factor properly is the movie Hush (also on Netflix and I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it). It’s about a woman who is totally deaf, but she’s being stalked by someone outside of her house. She has to use her wits to keep herself safe and is alone for most of the movie. It’s really well done. This movie, not so much.

hearing aid

Elena has a hearing aid in the entire movie, but the only times the movie acknowledges it is when she’s talking to Abby in the hallway. Abby tells her she’s “weak” and “won’t make it.” There could have been a super dope scene where Elena is walking through the halls of the hotel without her hearing aid. She could have used her heightened senses to take care of The Collector. Instead, it’s pretty much forgotten and not integral to the movie.

There’s mostly a lot of running around and trying to find Elena/ Elena trying to escape. There is no romantic tension, which was really refreshing. The only real action we see is when the group coming for Elena gets attacked by crazy people wearing masks. We see The Collector at one point making these “creatures” with some kind of injection and a stapled-to-the-face mask.

My issue with this is that these people are here to save Elena. Although they might not care about the other kidnap victims, they’re still shooting these people willy-nilly. Everyone dies and literally no one but Elena and Arkin are saved. That makes me really mad.

Finally, The Collector himself I found to be really cute. The shine they put on his eyes makes him look freaking adorable, almost like one of those soot sprites from Howl’s Moving Castle.

cute

This movie was really bad. It wasn’t really about anything and this is the most classic case of creeps that are creepy for no reason I’ve ever seen. We don’t even learn who The Collector is or what he has to do with anything. It’s just bad. Don’t watch this movie.


Last Week’s Review: Nails

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